B is for Babies

I really like babies. They're so cute and fascinating, watching them learn and grow and giggle. I know this isn't good copy particularly, since not many people don't like babies and cute things, though I do just really like them. I'm getting to the stage of my life where lots of people I know are having babies and so it's becoming a bit complicated. At the moment, I can't have my own babies since I'm on medication that would be bad for the baby's health, as well as the fact I'm on the medication because of my depression and that would make it hard to be a parent. David and I are in a reasonable place to have children except that probably we aren't really emotionally ready and our finances could be in better shape. I am finding it rather hard with all the babies around me that are so lovely and wonderful when the prospect of my very own baby seems so far out of my reach. First I have to get my depression and working life under better control with the meds, then gradually come off the medication without that causing major trouble, and have a period of stability before David and I can try to make a baby. It all seems so far away, to the point where it may not even be possible. This does make me sad.

My sister might be having a baby soon. She is pregnant, though the baby's test results have been difficult, the baby has a 1 in 70 risk of having Down syndrome, so she has to go next week for an amniocentesis test. If the baby has got Down syndrome, she and Dan aren't sure whether they will have the baby or not. This saddens me since I do believe in the right to life for people with DS and I do think of her baby as my niece or nephew, regardless of he or she having DS, so it will be so sad for all of us to lose him or her. But of course the decision must lie with Caris and Dan, since they're the baby's parents, and I need to be strong and respectful of them, I need to be strong for my sister. This I think is going to be terribly hard, but it is just something I'm going to have to do.