Things I'm thankful for

Things I'm thankful for:

• A fulfilling job

  • can use my skills

  • does my idea of good

  • liveable income

  • interesting

• supportive workplace

  • Helen wants to help

  • Kim is a great mentor

  • flexible and supportive team

• supportive friends

  • David wants to help, always listens, loves me for me

  • Nate listens to me, helps me, reminds me I'm good/worthwhile/not useless, that it gets better

  • Mike lets me be honest, has a unique perspective, is awesome, lets me in

• my family

  • It's complicated but they're there for me, love me, and i love them

I wrote this sometime in January or February 2011, I can't find the relevant notepad. At the time I was feeling down and felt that reminding myself that I had things that I was thankful for, or glad of. If something's not on here, it doesn't mean I'm not thankful for it, but I probably didn't think of it at the time. I then decided that these kinds of lists weren't helpful, because they were making me feel guilty, that I had so much to be thankful for, but was still not coping. Since then though I changed my mind again, and now I'm somewhat ambivalent – sometimes the list gives me the guilts, but mostly, it reminds me there is hope, light, beauty and luck in the world that I have my share of, and I'm glad of it. A little thankfulness/gratitude doesn't go astray I think (at least, for now). And these are positive and useful things that I have.

To the list of things I'm thankful for, I added a 'things to remember" list:

• people care about me and are trying to help

  • Dr James, Andrew the counsellor, David, Helen, Kim, Nate, Mike, Andrew from work, Jenn

• my family love me

• I'm an okay person

• It gets better

• It's a learning experience

Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I will try again tomorrow'