Thought Strategy of the Day

So, today I've been struggling with some negative thoughts, and working on using techniques from ACT -- which is all about not trying to control them, or get rid of them, but to just not let them distract me from what I want to do (as I understand it, anyway). I'm often fairly disappointed to realise that the ACT techniques don't make them go away or make me feel better, but, dammit, THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I'm still as stuck as ever in the happiness trap if I go about it that way, so if I want to not be in there, it's time for a change of ideas/basis/paradigm. So, instead, I've been trying to focus on what I want to do today, which is get work done, and not to let the negative thoughts be anything more than thoughts - words in my head, stories my brain tells me.

With this in mind, or at least, coming together with this now I've thought about it, I'd written 'grumpy' on my hand. That idea came from last week, when I was really tired Thursday (and had taken a bit more valium than was necessary for the dentist, so sorta dopey), Mike suggested I write 'TIRED' on my hand so that I'd remember I was tired (and drug affected) when I was having trouble getting it together at work, to prevent the inner conversation of 'why are you such a fuck up today ami?' 'because you're useless' since I'd see my hand and then know 'oh yeah, i'm tired, that's why things are hard'. So I'd written grumpy on my hand this morning, but on the inside of it. This is what it looks like now:

See how the 'grumpy' is wearing off? Well, in my feelings too, the 'grumpy is wearing off'. It seems to be a nice way to remember that my 'difficult days' actually tend to be more 'difficult mornings' -- it tends to be better later in the day.  I like knowing this, and I think that for especially hard days, I might write my feelings on the hand, to watch them fade.